Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
