Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
