my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
