Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
