what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
vagina is talking i cant
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
