I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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