I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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