I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
