Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
