Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
