you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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