She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
