I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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