You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
