sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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