i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize