It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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