I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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