I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
