just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
