I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
