I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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