we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
