walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
