IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
