i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
