The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
