Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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