Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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