Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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