Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
