WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
