she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
