I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
