I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
