I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
