scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sober January is a disaster.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
