Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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