He disabled his match.com account in front of me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
