Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize