Christians are straight up FREAKS
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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