After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize