I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
