Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
