Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
