i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
