I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.