I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
