Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
