You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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