Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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