it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
