Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
