i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
