I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
