I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
