man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
