do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize