i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
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