ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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