I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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