the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
