i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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