We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
