it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
