I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
