Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
