how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
