fuck your aforementioned shoe
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
