tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
